Just want to get some things off my chest.

So I spent the weekend at Dalton's dad's, which is really a treat for me. I love going there. I'm not sure why, but I'm attached to the condo.

Anyway, when we headed for the beach, I got a text message from my sister telling me that my dad has been in the hospital with internal bleeding from his liver, and welts all over his arms. His liver isn't all that surprising, but it's heart wrenching. I honestly don't know what to do, and maybe that's why I can't seem to fall asleep. It's extremely irritating knowing I can't do anything about this, and even more so and hurtful when he doesn't even bother to call and tell me. It's not right to vanish off the face of the earth and then favor a daughter. It shouldn't be like that. And when you told me you'd be leaving, I didn't think you meant this. I didn't take you seriously when you told me that you'd never talk to me again. And I really do regret that now. And I'm so sorry if I'm not what you expected, or what you wanted for a daughter, but to be honest, you never treated me like one. I forgive you, and I do not blame you for anything in the past, so please do not just cast me away just because I stick up for my mother. I know I'm not the absolute best person out there, but you can't just see me as the worst person in the world. As horrible as it sounds, you are a very scary man, extremely in fact. It's like you're a ticking time bomb, and it's heart breaking to know that I'm actually afraid of you. It shouldn't be like that. I did not want that last visit to go that way. Not once did you ask me about school, or my life, you just carried on telling me what you would do to Rob and mom.

I just want a damn normal family. I am so tired of dealing with this. I am confused, lost, and being completely and utterly selfish. God, help me through this. I need your strength more than ever right now. And please, is he does past, guide him.

-Kristen.